“Why are you still single”? – How to answer this question

It’s that time of the year right where it’s filled with social gatherings hopefully  if you’re allowed to gather socially. You know family getting together people loving each other – laughter – planning your holiday with family. 

And you know I know that inevitably this one question is going to come up. And it’s usually 

a well-meaning family member asking you – “Why are  you still single?” And I remember how I used to cringe at receiving that question. 

How does how does that make you feel?  Do you get defensive? Maybe you get angry, maybe you roll your eyes… Maybe you get anxious like feeling like you need to explain yourself… You know…  Why am I single? Maybe you know because usually we have the subconscious piece of  “what’s wrong with me?” How irrational that may be. 

And then it feels like this person is pinpointing something that i’m already feeling. But I’d like you to to start thinking differently about it and I’d like to challenge you to think about – What if this person is really  just well-meaning? Because they are a family member and they love you and they’ve known you for years and what if they’re not asking you this question because they want you to explain yourself,  but rather because they care for you. And because they see how amazing and wonderful you are and they’d love for you to meet someone amazing just like you are.  

So how would that change your response to the “why are you still single question”? If we had to reframe that question and the reason why they’re asking that question. What if you responded with a real and honest answer? 

What would your real and honest answer be to that question?   

If you had to just connect into what you’re really feeling behind the anxiety, behind the anger behind the fear, behind the isolation. How do you really feel about being single and why you’re single?And what will it take for you to be honest about it and to open up to people who really love you?  

I’d love to know your comments so please comment your answers. I’d love to know what’s really going on for you when someone asks that question and I’d love to help you reframe that into something more empowering that’s going to feel better for you over this amazing holiday season! 

I look forward to receiving your comments…

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